Generation Gap: n.
A difference in values and attitudes between one generation and another, especially between young people and their parents.
I have always felt this invisible line between some of the board members and myself. I like to sum it up with the words: Generation Gap. I am not talking about age difference. I am referring to the problems the two groups have with one another and the inability to see eye to eye.
I noticed something immediately when we went to Boston and spent the weekend with thousands of board members. I was of a minority. I would say that there were more men, but almost everyone was over the age of 50. Do I think someone can't be a good board member because of their age? Absolutely not. Do I think there is a huge problem with the fact that young people aren't getting out there, being involved, and serving on boards? Absolutely!!! But there are other concerns as well.
1) Session after session board members would stand up and say something like, "My name is Sally Mae and I have been on the board for 24 years" and the audience would applaud. I don't get it. They didn't say they were a "great board member for 24 years" just that they were there. Why does holding a seat for years and years earn you an applause? Tell me you have been amazing for the last 2 decades, then I will clap for you.
2) Fear of Change. This is a biggie. In some sessions they would speak of new and innovative ways to communicate with parents. Such as having a Board Facebook Page. In another session, FB pages were met with criticism and insult. As if that is a teenagers way of living, not a corporation.
3) Seeing someone younger as someone who is not an equal. I face this on my board everyday. I hear the comments. I know I am treated differently because of my age. I saw it at the conference as well. After one session I waited in line to speak with the presenter. Not once, but twice, as it was my turn to step up and speak, two older men cut right in front of me, as if I didn't even exist. I know they thought they were more important in their suits. Was it because I was a woman? Was it because of my age? I don't know for sure.
4) Seasoned board members seem to be afraid to "let go" of the reins and give someone else a chance to run things. This is true of the board I serve on. Not only will they refuse to "let" someone new and fresh serve as chairman, they don't even let us in on the discussion. I fear that other boards are the same, and who will run these meetings ten to twenty years from now? Who will serve on these boards? If we don't teach the next generation and give them a chance are we really helping our students?
5) Resentment and feeling unappreciated and the whole "we tried that it didn't work" phrase. I have one word for you. Bacon. When I sat on our preschool board, much smaller than IPS but very successful, I considered myself a seasoned member. I knew all the fundraisers in and out. Someone younger and very energetic came onto the board and had new ideas. I disliked her immediately. She wanted to serve bacon at our Santa breakfast, and we all knew that didn't work. It took too much time to cook, made a mess, lots of clean up, and slowed everything down. We tried it. However she was adamant. She needed bacon, she was in charge, and there would be bacon. So what did I do? I went to this event, saw that she had her bacon and saw that it messed everything up. HA! I was right! I sat there and watched this fail, I watched families leave because they were waiting for food, I saw people be unhappy, kids getting restless. So it failed because she didn't listen, right? No. It failed because I didn't get off my ass and help her fry that bacon. That was the moment I knew it was time for me to leave. If I would rather this event be a flop and disappoint our families, than step up and help her even though she wouldn't listen to me, then it was time for me to go. And I did. I chose to let my pride stand in the way of making something better for our children. Next time, I choose bacon.
I got a lot out of the NSBA, but I do think there could be a session on the generation gap and how to confront it respectfully.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
A little ditty about Sam and Diane
This past weekend I boarded a plane and headed to Boston with two other board members, Samantha and Diane. Early on in my blogging I stated that I would not mention any board member by name. However, I have permission from them to share our weekend with you. I have struggled with attending conferences because of the cost to the district. November of 2010 I went to Florida for the Council of Great City Schools. I am glad I did because Indianapolis is hosting this event this fall. I decided to attend the NSBA, National School Board Association. I am so thankful that I did! I really needed the motivation and hope that I received from this experience.
We got in Friday night and rushed over to the Convention Center to pick up pick up our info packets. We made it with about three minutes to spare. After that we headed out for dinner. The next three days were sessions, speakers, and more sessions. We listened to amazing students from all very the country perform beautiful music. We tried to attend different sessions so we could gain and share more information. I noticed a pattern in my session choices, and that was Climate. I spent a lot of my time listening to ideas of building board relations. I also decided to face reality and I went to some sessions on Superintendent Evaluations and Superintendent Searches.
In the evenings Sam, Diane, and I headed out. We tried to do as much sight seeing as possible, a fair share of eating, and lots and lots of talking. We talked about our kids, our spouses, our childhoods. We talked about our sessions and shared what we had learned. Mostly, we talked about the board. We talked about what went wrong and when. We talked about if we can help fix it and how. I will share more details soon regarding the sessions themselves. The three of us want to give a presentation to the other board members, and I want them to hear this info first. I can tell you though that wherever we went, education was on our mind. One night the hostess at our restaurant joined in our conversation, well, she joined our dinner. Turns out, she was a public school teacher and works with children with autism. We talked to other board members from all over the country and heard their stories and shared ours. It was such a great experience. These ladies are great. I am so glad I got the opportunity to spend so much time with them and learn so much about them. And mistakes have been made, but we all really truly have children's best interest at heart. We have a respect for one another, and an unquestionable trust. Diane and Sam did not start off well. In fact, they started off very bad. They have both buried the past, and are only looking to the possibilities. As soon as we present to the other Board Members, I will share the session information here.
We got in Friday night and rushed over to the Convention Center to pick up pick up our info packets. We made it with about three minutes to spare. After that we headed out for dinner. The next three days were sessions, speakers, and more sessions. We listened to amazing students from all very the country perform beautiful music. We tried to attend different sessions so we could gain and share more information. I noticed a pattern in my session choices, and that was Climate. I spent a lot of my time listening to ideas of building board relations. I also decided to face reality and I went to some sessions on Superintendent Evaluations and Superintendent Searches.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Empty chairs at empty tables
It's been a busy week for me. On Monday we were scheduled for our Legislative meeting. Before that meeting began though, we voted an a HR issue. You can read about it here...
http://www.indystar.com/article/20120410/LOCAL18/204100324/IPS-may-ditch-policy-staff-members-transporting-students
That was a good night. A really good night.
On Tuesday we held a Resource meeting. At the end of the meeting we were handed the new IPS plan that Dr. White will present at the Central Library on Monday April 16th. Try and make it if you can, there will be a sign up sheet for questions and comments.
And last night was the highlight of my week. I skipped the Educational Meeting that was scheduled, because I had received an invitation weeks ago to do something else.
If you remember I posted about visiting Manual HS. During that visit Mr. Lloyd (choir director) told me that he takes his students to see a Broadway show every year. They go to a nice dinner beforehand and then off to the show. I was so impressed with his dedication and excitement and I was more than thrilled when he extended the invite to me! This year the show, part of the Broadway Across America, is Les Miserables. I was SO EXCITED. Of all the shows I have seen, I have never seen Les Mis. I know most of the music, just never seen the show.
Finally the show night came. I must say a quick thank you to my family. It turns out my daughter's conference at school was this night as well. The all jumped through some hoops for me so we could get there early and I could make it to the dinner reservation on time.
I met Mr. Lloyd and his students at Canal Bistro in Broad Ripple. I was very excited to see Mr. Lloyd's wife, Stacia, there as well. I have heard about her from Spencer himself and through Matt Tully's book. My sister also knows the Lloyd's which shows once again how small the world really is. There were around 30 students, a few teachers and alumni, then me.
At first I thought, do they really want a Board Member apart of their "family" for the evening? Was this one of those uninvite invitations? Like the wedding invite you sent to your mother's great aunt once removed because you feel you have to, but you don't really want her to show up and you even leave her out of the dinner count? As I was waiting for the big yellow bus to pull up I thought, "What if I am that aunt?" Five minutes later, I was welcomed into this group and that aunt didn't cross my mind again.
One thing I noticed was the behavior of the students. Not once did I see Mr. Lloyd or the other teacher present give a reminder of behavior expectations. They just seemed to know. I was really impressed with the students at dinner. I served for many years, and a table of 30 teenagers would have been my complaint of the night. But these ladies and gentlemen were just that. They were kind, considerate, patient, and appreciative. The dinner itself was delicious.
The talk was even better. One student shared with me her frustrations about other students not caring. She talked about the test scores, the behavior, and the overall attitude. We discussed the fears with the takeover process, and the hope of it bringing much needed change. We discussed the bureaucracy BS that seems to overpower and stifle so many great ideas in IPS. I heard about their programs, their accomplishments, their trips. I saw the shock when one student heard there were gangs at the school. The adults talked about the children they left at home to attend this evening.
I was reminded how very real and sometimes quite painful young love can be as one of the young ladies struggled with some heated texts. It made me think of my daughters and hoping they won't hurt like that, but knowing they probably will. I wanted to tell that young girl that she has her whole life in front of her and the boy that makes her cry doesn't matter. How can I say that? I loved my husband when I was 15, and I cried over him many times. Maybe I should have told her that this moment won't break her, this moment will make her. It will help define who she will be later in this life.
Dinner was wrapped up and we headed to Clowes Hall. I drove myself to the theater. I had a long walk from my parking space and not much time. By the time I made it to my seat the show was just beginning. The show was awesome. The sets and the effects were some of the best I had seen. The students seems to enjoy it as well. They reacted to the more mature moments in the show. Stage performances seem to be pretty risque and I heard some giggles. One thing I also noticed was the use of cell phones among teenagers. They are so connected to their phones I worry they couldn't be completely connected to the show. In fact, I had a hard time staying connected to the show because of the lights of the phones. One young lady even talked briefly on her phone. This wasn't so much of a problem for me, but I felt sadness for these kids. I am sad that they can never quite be free. As a parent it makes me consider having some rules that I am sure my kids will think are completely unfair. But I don't want them to be accessible to anyone at anytime. I don't want them to be so worried they will miss something when they are actually missing what is happening right in front of them.
I am so thankful to Mr. Lloyd for inviting me. I am thankful to the staff who welcomed me. I enjoyed meeting and getting to talk to Mr. Weber, the band teacher. I appreciate all he has done for his students. I adore Stacia Lloyd, who is everything you would imagine her to be. A kind, sweet soul. Without her strength, guidance, and her willingness to share so much of her husband, he would not be able to be the choir director that he is. I think it's awesome that she is so involved. I am grateful to the students who didn't mind me imposing on this night. I am thankful and surprised that I came home to an awesomely clean kitchen! It was a wonderful night.
http://www.indystar.com/article/20120410/LOCAL18/204100324/IPS-may-ditch-policy-staff-members-transporting-students
That was a good night. A really good night.
On Tuesday we held a Resource meeting. At the end of the meeting we were handed the new IPS plan that Dr. White will present at the Central Library on Monday April 16th. Try and make it if you can, there will be a sign up sheet for questions and comments.
And last night was the highlight of my week. I skipped the Educational Meeting that was scheduled, because I had received an invitation weeks ago to do something else.
If you remember I posted about visiting Manual HS. During that visit Mr. Lloyd (choir director) told me that he takes his students to see a Broadway show every year. They go to a nice dinner beforehand and then off to the show. I was so impressed with his dedication and excitement and I was more than thrilled when he extended the invite to me! This year the show, part of the Broadway Across America, is Les Miserables. I was SO EXCITED. Of all the shows I have seen, I have never seen Les Mis. I know most of the music, just never seen the show.
Finally the show night came. I must say a quick thank you to my family. It turns out my daughter's conference at school was this night as well. The all jumped through some hoops for me so we could get there early and I could make it to the dinner reservation on time.
I met Mr. Lloyd and his students at Canal Bistro in Broad Ripple. I was very excited to see Mr. Lloyd's wife, Stacia, there as well. I have heard about her from Spencer himself and through Matt Tully's book. My sister also knows the Lloyd's which shows once again how small the world really is. There were around 30 students, a few teachers and alumni, then me.
At first I thought, do they really want a Board Member apart of their "family" for the evening? Was this one of those uninvite invitations? Like the wedding invite you sent to your mother's great aunt once removed because you feel you have to, but you don't really want her to show up and you even leave her out of the dinner count? As I was waiting for the big yellow bus to pull up I thought, "What if I am that aunt?" Five minutes later, I was welcomed into this group and that aunt didn't cross my mind again.
One thing I noticed was the behavior of the students. Not once did I see Mr. Lloyd or the other teacher present give a reminder of behavior expectations. They just seemed to know. I was really impressed with the students at dinner. I served for many years, and a table of 30 teenagers would have been my complaint of the night. But these ladies and gentlemen were just that. They were kind, considerate, patient, and appreciative. The dinner itself was delicious.
The talk was even better. One student shared with me her frustrations about other students not caring. She talked about the test scores, the behavior, and the overall attitude. We discussed the fears with the takeover process, and the hope of it bringing much needed change. We discussed the bureaucracy BS that seems to overpower and stifle so many great ideas in IPS. I heard about their programs, their accomplishments, their trips. I saw the shock when one student heard there were gangs at the school. The adults talked about the children they left at home to attend this evening.
I was reminded how very real and sometimes quite painful young love can be as one of the young ladies struggled with some heated texts. It made me think of my daughters and hoping they won't hurt like that, but knowing they probably will. I wanted to tell that young girl that she has her whole life in front of her and the boy that makes her cry doesn't matter. How can I say that? I loved my husband when I was 15, and I cried over him many times. Maybe I should have told her that this moment won't break her, this moment will make her. It will help define who she will be later in this life.
Dinner was wrapped up and we headed to Clowes Hall. I drove myself to the theater. I had a long walk from my parking space and not much time. By the time I made it to my seat the show was just beginning. The show was awesome. The sets and the effects were some of the best I had seen. The students seems to enjoy it as well. They reacted to the more mature moments in the show. Stage performances seem to be pretty risque and I heard some giggles. One thing I also noticed was the use of cell phones among teenagers. They are so connected to their phones I worry they couldn't be completely connected to the show. In fact, I had a hard time staying connected to the show because of the lights of the phones. One young lady even talked briefly on her phone. This wasn't so much of a problem for me, but I felt sadness for these kids. I am sad that they can never quite be free. As a parent it makes me consider having some rules that I am sure my kids will think are completely unfair. But I don't want them to be accessible to anyone at anytime. I don't want them to be so worried they will miss something when they are actually missing what is happening right in front of them.
I am so thankful to Mr. Lloyd for inviting me. I am thankful to the staff who welcomed me. I enjoyed meeting and getting to talk to Mr. Weber, the band teacher. I appreciate all he has done for his students. I adore Stacia Lloyd, who is everything you would imagine her to be. A kind, sweet soul. Without her strength, guidance, and her willingness to share so much of her husband, he would not be able to be the choir director that he is. I think it's awesome that she is so involved. I am grateful to the students who didn't mind me imposing on this night. I am thankful and surprised that I came home to an awesomely clean kitchen! It was a wonderful night.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)